Swim the Fly: Review Haiku

Teenage boys in all
their horny, lying, dumbass,
endearing glory.

Swim the Fly by Don Calame. Candlewick, 2009, 352 pages.


The Penderwicks at Point Mouette: Review Haiku

And again I say,
why am I not a Penderwick?
Maine-ly awesome.

The Penderwicks at Point Mouette by Jeanne Birdsall. Knopf, 2011, 304 pages.


The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party: Review Haiku

Maimed cattle, illegitimate
twins, new shoes, and --
at last! -- a wedding.

The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party by Alexander McCall Smith. Pantheon, 2011, 213 pages.


The Last Little Blue Envelope: Review Haiku

MJ gets it right:

love, death, longing, heartbreak --
plus the best car EVAH.

The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson. Harper, 2011, 288 pages.


Sweet Valley Confidential: Review Haiku

Their wedding procession
song was from Phantom of
the Opera
?!? *dies*

Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later by Francine Pascal. St. Martin's, 2011, 293 pages.


Squish: Review Haiku

Is there nothing the
Holm kids can't do? Fun new series
for squishy boys.

Squish #1: Super Amoeba by Jennifer L. Holm and Matt Holm. Random, 2011, 96 pages.


Beginner's Grace: Review Haiku

A primer on prayer
right when I needed it.
Reverend Kate speaks the truth.

Beginner's Grace: Bringing Prayer to Life by Kate Braestrup. Free Press, 2010, 272 pages.


The Pioneer Woman: Review Haiku

Couldn't get enough
of this real-life love story.
Cowboys are sexy.

The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels: A Love Story by Ree Drummond. Morrow, 2011, 352 pages.


The Wilder Life: Review Haiku

Poundy lets her
prairie freak flag fly: A road trip
for budding Half-Pints.


Trouble Maker 2: Review Haiku

Well, that was a waste
of a good half an hour

of my life. Piffle.

Trouble Maker, Book 2 by Janet Evanovich and Alex Evanovich. Dark Horse, 2010, 112 pages.


The Trouble with May Amelia: Review Haiku

I'm starting a line
to punch May Amelia's father
right in the mouth.

The Trouble with May Amelia by Jennifer L. Holm. Atheneum, 2011, 224 pages.


Five Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth: Review Haiku

More new content would
have been nice, but you still can't
beat a pterobear. RAWRRRRR!

Five Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) by Matthew Inman. Andrews McMell, 2011, 160 pages.