Perfectly Miserable: Review Haiku

WOW I could not stand
a single part of this memoir
or this woman.

Perfectly Miserable: Guilt, God, and Real Estate in a Small Town by Sarah Payne Stuart. Riverhead, 2014, 320 pages.

The Happy Atheist: Review Haiku

I tried, I did. But
this is just mean and
surprisingly ignorant.

The Happy Atheist by PZ Myers. Pantheon, 2013, 208 pages.

Tampa: Review Haiku

I think I need a
shower. And maybe a
confessional. Egad.

Tampa by Alissa Nutting. Ecco, 2013, 272 pages.

In Darkness: Review Haiku

I tried, I swear -- I
just couldn't finish. Wrong book,
wrong time, wrong reader.

In Darkness by Nick Lake. Bloomsbury, 2012, 368 pages.

Hilda and the Midnight Giant: Review Haiku

I tried, I tried, but
I just couldn't figure out
what was going on.

Hilda and the Midnight Giant by Luke Pearson. Nobrow, 2012, 40 pages.

2012: Year in Review

# of posts: 149
# of books read: 139

Favorite books of 2012

Middle-grade fiction
In a Glass Grimmly
Liar & Spy

Young adult fiction
The Fault in Our Stars
Where Things Come Back

Adult fiction
Gone Girl
The Family Fang

Adult nonfiction
Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Wild

Favorite jackets of 2012

Me & Earl & the Dying Girl

Unholy Night

Least favorite books of 2012
Girl Land
Wonkenstein

Happy New Year, y'all!

Wicked Business: Review Haiku

I can't even do
this anymore. Trash is fun --
but sometimes, just trash.

Wicked Business by Janet Evanovich. Bantam, 2012, 320 pages.

Girl Land: Review Haiku

I WANT TO PUNCH THIS
BOOK IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY.
The hell, Caitlin?

Girl Land by Caitlin Flanagan. Reagan Arthur Books, 2012, 224 pages.

Wonkenstein: Review Haiku

I really tried to
find something redeeming here,

but I couldn't. Pffft.

Wonkenstein: The Creature from My Closet #1 by Obert Skye. Square Fish, 2012, 256 pages.

Super Sad True Love Story: Review Haiku

Could not last thirty
pages in this hipster
douchebag fantasyland.

Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart. Random, 2011, 352 pages.

Sweet Valley Confidential: Review Haiku

Their wedding procession
song was from Phantom of
the Opera?!? *dies*

Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later by Francine Pascal. St. Martin's, 2011, 293 pages.

Trouble Maker 2: Review Haiku

Well, that was a waste
of a good half an hour

of my life. Piffle.

Trouble Maker, Book 2 by Janet Evanovich and Alex Evanovich. Dark Horse, 2010, 112 pages.

Troublemaker: Review Haiku

Wow, Leila was right:
this is a truly awful
book. (And that Barbie bod . . . !)

Troublemaker, Book 1: A Barnaby and Hooker Graphic Novel by Janet Evanovich and Alex Evanovich. Dark Horse Comics, 2010, 112 pages.

P.S. Huh. I coulda sworn Leila reviewed this. But now I can't find it. Regardless, I'm pretty sure she would hate it.

What Women Want: Review Haiku

Could've been good if
the author weren't such a
chauvinistic douchebag.

What Women Want: The Global Market Turns Female Friendly by Paco Underhill. S&S, 2010, 214 pages.

Cleaving: Review Haiku

I'm sorry, I just
cannot get past adultery.
I'm harsh like that.

Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession by Julie Powell. Little Brown, 2009, 307 pages.

And NOW back to your regularly scheduled Cybilly hiatus.

Anna Friggin' Karenina: Review Haiku

Boy meets girl; boy gets
girl; girl meets train. Three weeks of
my life lost, all lost.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Originally serialized in Russian between 1875 and 1877, 754 pages.

#32 on The LIST.

The Iliad: Review Haiku

D'oh! Homer, I tried;
but pierced eyeballs don't thrill me.
Better luck next time?

The Iliad by Homer. Translated by Robert Fagles. Penguin, 1990, 704 pages.

#20 on The LIST.

Slogging through The Iliad

Boys and swords, angry gods, women as chattel, Greek Guy #1 led the army of Greek Place #24, featuring the noble warriors Greek Guy #96 son of Greek Guy #126 . . .

Egad. Hera, give me strength.

Madame Bovary: Review Haiku

Oh, good God, woman,
just go get a vibrator.
Useless bourgeoisie.

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. Modern Library, 1957 (orig. 1857), 400 pages.

#17 on The LIST.

On the Road: Review Haiku

They gave these aimless,

jobless, shiftless, drunk junkies
drivers' licenses?

On the Road by Jack Kerouac. Viking, 1957, 293 pages.

#14 on The LIST.