Mergers & Acquisitions from A to Z: Review Haiku

What? It's the only
book I've been able to read
for the past three weeks.

Mergers & Acquisitions from A to Z by Andrew J. Sherman. AMACOM, 2006, 288 pages.

(Or as I like to call it, Mergers & Acquisitions from A to Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . )

Prime Baby: Review Haiku

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Twisted alien sibling
genius. Sing-along!

Prime Baby by Gene Luen Yang. First Second, 2010, 56 pages.

Scumble: Review Haiku

Sometimes clumsy, always
heartfelt allegory
of adolescence.

Scumble by Ingrid Law. Dial, 2010, 416 pages.

Happyface: Review Haiku

Next time someone says
graphic novels aren't real novels,
give 'em this one.

Happyface by Stephen Emond. Little Brown, 2010, 307 pages.

What Women Want: Review Haiku

Could've been good if
the author weren't such a
chauvinistic douchebag.

What Women Want: The Global Market Turns Female Friendly by Paco Underhill. S&S, 2010, 214 pages.

Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs: Review Haiku

Kathleen Norris plus
Anne Lamott plus the chick from
Northern Exposure.

Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs: Family, Friendships, and Faith in Small-Town Alaska by Heather Lende. Algonquin, 2010, 287 pages.

Ling & Ting: Review Haiku

Is it wrong that I
kinda want to marry this
book? Adorable.

Ling & Ting: Not Exactly the Same! by Grace Lin. Little Brown, 2010, 43 pages.

Keeper: Review Haiku

Heart-tugging love stories:
read 'em and weep.
(Bonus points for the gay guys.)

Keeper by Kathi Appelt. Atheneum, 2010, 399 pages.

The Bedwetter: Review Haiku

Pretty much what you'd
expect: a few laughs, all of
it NSFW.

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman. Harper, 2010, 240 pages.

The Dreamer: Review Haiku

Beautiful package,
but too in love with itself
for its audience?

The Dreamer by Pam Munoz Ryan. Scholastic, 2010, 372 pages.

Switch: Review Haiku

Fairly dorky jargon
(Elephants! Riders!), but
insight is top-notch.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath. Broadway Business, 2010, 305 pages.

Mockingjay: Review Haiku

War! Lust! Politics!
Sacrifice! And yet a weird
Bella Swan vibe, no?

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. Scholastic, 2010, 390 pages.

[It's safe to talk about this, right? You've all read it by now?]

You Are Not a Gadget: Review Haiku

The worst of both worlds:

academic jargon AND
technobabble! Wheeeee . . .

You Are Not a Gadget by Jaron Lanier. Knopf, 2010, 209 pages.

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ: Review Haiku

Revisionist gospel
introduces Father,
Son, and Evil Twin.

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman. Canongate, 2010, 245 pages.

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend: Review Haiku

Road trip, drama geeks,
first love, Teh Gays, ninjas --
this debut hits 'em all.

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend by Emily Horner. Dial, 2010, 259 pages.

P.S. "Ninjas can divide by zero" is quite possibly the funniest line I've read all year.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Review Haiku

Why yes, I AM the
last person in the world to
read this. Brutal, fierce.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. Knopf, 2008, 480 pages.

Zombies vs. Unicorns: Review Haiku

The zombie ones rock,
but unicorns have sex and
fart rainbows. TEAM U.

Zombies vs. Unicorns edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier. McElderry, 2010, 432 pages.

Packing for Mars: Review Haiku

Mary Roach answers
your burning questions about
food, sex, poop in space.

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach. Norton, 2010, 336 pages.

Sh*t My Dad Says: Review Haiku

Can't believe this will

be a TV show, but as

a book it's not bad.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. It Books, 2010, 176 pages. Read on a Kindle borrowed from the Bedford Free Public Library.

Clementine, Friend of the Week: Review Haiku

Not Clementine wacky;
Clementine sad. She is still
the awesome-est.

Clementine, Friend of the Week by Sara Pennypacker. Hyperion, 2010,

YOU: Review Haiku

If this doesn't make
you despair for the human
race, you read it wrong.

You by Charles Benoit. Harper, 2010, 208 pages.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? Review Haiku

Exaggerated
memoir so funny it'll
make you smile out loud.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by Samantha Bee. Gallery Press, 2010, 256 pages.

The Kneebone Boy: Review Haiku

Yes, it really is
that good. Voice, character, and plot --
it's got them all.

The Kneebone Boy by Ellen Potter. Feiwel & Friends, 2010, 288 pages.

Sizzling Sixteen: Review Haiku

You don't really care
what happens, right? Just if we
see Ranger naked.*

Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich. St. Martin's Press, 2010, 320 pages.**

*No.

**There by the grace of superwide margins and giant leading, again. It's really only 96 pages of content.

Vordak the Incomprehensible: Review Haiku

If I say this was
fun but grew tiresome, will
Vordak come and kill me?

Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World by Vordak the Incomprehensible (Scott Seegert). Egmont USA, 2010, 208 pages.

P.S. The Egmont USA booth was right next to ours at ALA. Vordak appeared and signed books, and I snapped a picture with him on my phone -- which I promptly erased like a moron, trying to upload it to Tweetdeck. I was too terrified to ask for a retake.

I'm back! Sort of.

As you read this I am either a) on a plane from Rio to Miami; b) waiting all damn day in the Miami airport for my flight back to Boston; or c) on a plane from Miami to Boston, finally coming home from a weeklong class/caipirinha-drinking boondoggle in Brazil.

[Or else, d) I have been mugged and murdered in Sao Paulo, and these last, pre-written blog entries are my spooooooky missives from the graaaaaaaaaave. But probably b).]

I have been doing a goodly amount of vacation reading, the fruits of which you will begin seeing over the next few weeks. Enjoy.

I'm on vacation, bitchez.

Dear friends in the computer,

It was so nice to see so many of you at ALA last weekend. (I was even visited by a fabulous librarian who loves this blog and recommends it to all her friends. I have FANS, people!)

I spent my conference standing, schmoozing, attending sessions, standing, working signings in the booth, standing, stealing handfuls of goodies from the snack bag under the booth, standing, and standing. I also spent a goodly amount of time dealing with other things in my life that are not work-related but nonetheless selfishly occupy large portions of my brain.

The demands of my triple obligations -- work, church, and school (and oh yes, I have two children, too; forgot about them) -- are starting to catch up with me. When I find myself fretting that I haven't had time to read and haven't been able to update the blog, I know something has gone terribly monkey with my priorities.

So. It is summer. A perfect time to take a bloggy vacation, I say -- and so I shall. I will still post when I feel like it, and/or when I have the opportunity, but I will not kill myself trying to maintain the M-W-F posting schedule (which I'm guessing I'm the only one who notices/cares about anyway).

Have a lurvely summer, y'all.

Love,
Emily

Sports from Hell: Review Haiku

Middle-aged writer
puts a ferret in his pants
for the sport of it.

Sports from Hell: My Search for the World's Dumbest Competition by Rick Reilly. Doubleday, 2010, 224 pages.

I'm at ALA!

For my bookish friends who are also in DC for ALA Annual, come see me in the Charlesbridge booth, #2710!

Seven Year Switch: Review Haiku

Middle-aged woman
has midlife crisis. It's summer --

must be Claire Cook.

Seven Year Switch by Claire Cook. Hyperion, 2010, 256 pages.

Countdown: Review Haiku

Franny learns not to
duck and cover when it counts.

Fab docu-novel.

Countdown by Deborah Wiles. Scholastic, 2010, 400 pages.

P.S. Am I wrong to have wanted a little propaganda dispelling in the author's note (i.e., a newspaper over your head will not, in fact, protect you from nuclear fallout)?

Turtle in Paradise: Review Haiku

My second-favorite
Turtle in literature.

Our Gang, Key West-style.

Turtle in Paradise by Jennifer L. Holm. Random, 2010, 208 pages.

The Double Comfort Safari Club: Review Haiku

You don't really care
what it's about, right? Just enjoy
some nice bush tea.

The Double Comfort Safari Club by Alexander McCall Smith. Pantheon, 2010, 224 pages.

[Incidentally: the first synopsis on that link is completely wrong. Strange.]

The Unusual Mind of Vincent Shadow: Review Haiku

Twenty-two minute
Nickelodeon sitcom
dressed up like a book.

The Unusual Mind of Vincent Shadow by Tim Kehoe. Little Brown, 2010, 185 pages.

Only One Year: Review Haiku

Broke my heart as a
mom; what would I have thought
as an eight-year-old?

Only One Year by Andrea Cheng. Lee & Low, 2010, 97 pages.

It's Not Summer Without You: Review Haiku

What is it with these
YA ladies and unfinished
summer romance?

It's Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han. S&S, 2010, 275 pages.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks: Review Haiku

Holy HeLa -- the
best and very worst of
scientific progress.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Crown, 2010, 369 pages.

Octavia Boone's Big Questions About Life, the Universe, and Everything: Review Haiku

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll

want to throw things at the grownups.
Fabulous read.

Octavia Boone's Big Questions About Life, the Universe, and Everything by Rebecca Rupp. Candlewick, 2010, 192 pages.

P.S. Bonus points for the Hitchhiker's reference in the title.

Bobby the Brave (Sometimes): Review Haiku

Give this to all the
awkward, good-hearted fourth-grade
boys you know. Do it!

Bobby the Brave (Sometimes) by Lisa Yee. Levine/Scholastic, 2010, 176 pages.

P.S. Look, she signed it!

Will Grayson, Will Grayson: Review Haiku

Giant, magical
gay boy helps two Will Graysons
find their paths forward.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan. Dutton, 2010, 304 pages.

The Strange Case of Origami Yoda: Review Haiku

Middle-school boys in
all their crazy-monkey glory.
Read it you will.

The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Ton Angleberger. Amulet, 2010, 141 pages.

The Viper's Nest (39 Clues #7): Review Haiku

Am I the only
person still reading these books?
Don't hear much these days.

The Viper's Nest (The 39 Clues, #7) by Peter Lerangis. Scholastic, 2010, 190 pages.

Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation: Review Haiku

You say "manipulation"
like it's a bad thing.

How else do they learn?

Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation by Elizabeth Beckwith. Harper, 2009, 240 pages.

Happy birthday to me!

Da-na-na-na-na-na --
You say it's my birthday?
Hello, thirty-five.

This Book Is Overdue! Review Haiku

Is it ironic
that I wanted more
organization in this?

This Book Is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All by Marilyn Johnson. Harper, 2010, 272 pages.

Imperfect Birds: Review Haiku

Wanted to love it
but just cannot understand
addiction like this.

Imperfect Birds by Anne Lamott. Riverhead, 2010, 288 pages.

The Popularity Papers: Review Haiku

All the friendship angst
of almost-middle-school, in
handy graphic form.

The Popularity Papers: Research for the Social Improvement and General Betterment of Lydia Goldblatt + Julie Graham-Chang by Amy Ignatow. Abrams, 2010, 206 pages.

Judy Moody, Girl Detective: Review Haiku

Judy Moody goes
Nancy Drew (then, maybe, Sonia
Sotomayor?).

Judy Moody, Girl Detective (#9) by Megan McDonald. Candlewick, 2010, 192 pages.

The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin: Review Haiku

Fat deaf kid rules the
world -- or at least, goes mainstream
and solves a murder.

The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin by Josh Berk. Knopf, 2010, 256 pages.

My Life as a Book: Review Haiku

Heffley wannabe
and a mysterious death
oddly juxtaposed.

My Life as a Book by Janet Tashjian. Holt, 2010, 224 pages. (ARC from IRA 2010.)

Northward to the Moon: Review Haiku

People are complicated.
Thank God Horvath's here
to write about them.

Northward to the Moon by Polly Horvath. Schwartz & Wade, 2010, 256 pages.

Regretsy: Review Haiku

Hey, am I allowed
to say "whimsicle f**kery"
on this blog? SNARK.

Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF by April Winchell. Villard, 2010, 176 pages.