GOBBLE GOBBLE MUTHA*****Z

(Yes, she's a chicken, not a turkey. Do not care.)

Dory Fantasmagory: Review Haiku

Clementine's spark for
a younger crew: My First
Magical Realism?

Dory Fantasmagory by Abby Hanlon. Dial, 2014, 176 pages.

What If? Review Haiku

The perfect gift for
your favorite nerd. Plus,
the robot apocalypse.

What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by Randall Munroe. HMH, 2014, 320 pages.

Hand to Mouth: Review Haiku

A cold slap of water
in the face on the problem
of poverty.

Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America by Linda Tirado. Putnam, 2014, 195 pages.

The Key That Swallowed Joey Pigza: Review Haiku

I wish I could have
any faith that Joey will
be okay. RAAAAGE. Sigh.

The Key That Swallowed Joey Pigza by Jack Gantos. FSG, 2014, 176 pages.

100 Sideways Miles: Review Haiku

Similarities to
Grasshopper Jungle
do not go unnoticed.

100 Sideways Miles by Andrew Smith. S&S, 2014, 288 pages.

The Port Chicago 50: Review Haiku

A infuriating story,
masterfully told.
Justice not served.

The Port Chicago 50: Disaster, Mutiny, and the Fight for Civil Rights by Steve Sheinkin. Roaring Brook, 2014, 208 pages.

Treaties, Trenches, Mud and Blood: Review Haiku

For Armistice Day,
a look at a truly pointless,
horrible war.

Treaties, Trenches, Mud and Blood: A World War I Tale (Nathan Hale's Hazardous Tales) by Nathan Hale. Abrams, 2014, 128 pages.

Half a World Away: Review Haiku

I wanted to love this,
but last-minute twist felt
unsupported, weak.

Half a World Away by Cynthia Kadohata. Atheneum, 2014, 240 pages.

Mr. Pants: It's Go Time! Review Haiku

Great option for
My First Graphic Novel: snappy,
funny, includes pants.

Mr. Pants: It's Go Time! by Scott McCormick. Dial, 2014, 128 pages.

Comics Squad: Recess: Review Haiku

All my (and my kids')
favorites in one handy volume?
Yes please. More please.

Comics Squad: Recess! edited by Jennifer L. Holm et al. Random House, 2014, 144 pages.

Wild Things: Review Haiku

Worth it for the
James Marshall shoe story alone.
Read it and weep, folks.

Wild Things: Acts of Mischief in Children's Literature by Betsy Bird, Julie Danielson, and Peter Sieruta. Candlewick, 2014, 288 pages.

Always Abigail: Review Haiku

Classic middle-grade
about mean girls, nice girls, and
doing the right thing.

Always Abigail by Nancy J. Cavanaugh. Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, 2014, 320 pages.

Two Girls Staring at the Ceiling: Review Haiku

Innovative and
effective take on
unmentionable disease.

Two Girls Staring at the Ceiling by Lucy Frank. Schwartz + Wade, 2014, 272 pages.

Fifteen years.

Emperor Pickletine Rides the Bus: Review Haiku

I don't even want
to think about how bad this
pickle guy must smell.

Emperor Pickletine Rides the Bus by Tom Angleberger. Amulet/Abrams, 2014, 224 pages.

Fat Boy vs. the Cheerleaders: Review Haiku

Never underestimate
the persistence and
power of band nerds.

Fat Boy vs. the Cheerleaders by Geoff Herbach. Sourcebooks Fire, 2014, 320 pages.

Gracefully Grayson: Review Haiku

Sensitively done;
a testament to the power
of great theatre.

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky. Hyperion, 2014, 256 pages.

Alvin Ho #6: Review Haiku

I don't understand
how Alvin's parents didn't
EFFING MURDER HIM.

Alvin Ho: Allergic to the Great Wall, the Forbidden Palace, and Other Tourist Attractions by Lenore Look, illustrated by LeUyen Pham. Schwartz & Wade, 2014, 176 pages.

Landline: Review Haiku

I didn't quite get
how the time travel worked, but
I didn't quite care.

Landline by Rainbow Rowell. St. Martin's Press, 2014, 320 pages.

When I Was the Greatest: Review Haiku

I love these boys, all
of them. Powerful, hard-hitting,
smart. And funny!

When I Was the Greatest by Jason Reynolds. Atheneum, 2014, 240 pages.

Belzhar: Review Haiku

Rich, weird, and thoughtful;
takes "unreliable narrator"
to new heights.

Belzhar by Meg Wolitzer. Dutton, 2014, 272 pages.

Perfectly Miserable: Review Haiku

WOW I could not stand
a single part of this memoir
or this woman.

Perfectly Miserable: Guilt, God, and Real Estate in a Small Town by Sarah Payne Stuart. Riverhead, 2014, 320 pages.

This is 40.

You can't have him; he's mine.

(Happy birthday, darlin'.)

Top Secret Twenty-One: Review Haiku

Same old same old, but
I appreciate Steph's
tolerance of weirdos.

Top Secret Twenty-One by Janet Evanovich. Bantam, 2014, 352 pages.

Living With a Wild God: Review Haiku

I had high hopes, but
this was too esoteric
for me this summer.

Living With a Wild God: A Nonbeliever's Search for the Truth About Everything by Barbara Ehrenreich. Twelve, 2014, 256 pages.

Annika Riz, Math Whiz: Review Haiku

Sudoku is the
hook, but the cookie failures
were my favorite part.

Annika Riz, Math Whiz by Claudia Mills. FSG, 2014, 128 pages.

Miss Emily: Review Haiku

Yes, I totally
picked it up for the title,
AND WHAT OF IT, EH?

Miss Emily by Burleigh Muten. Candlewick, 2014, 144 pages.

The Truth About Twinkie Pie: Review Haiku

Southern-fried cooking
comes to Long Island, packed with
family secrets.

The Truth About Twinkie Pie by Kat Yeh. Little Brown, 2015, 352 pages.

Goin' to Carolina in my mind. Also, in real life.

If you need me today, I'll be speaking for FOUR HOURS at SCBWI Carolinas. With critiques and another workshop on Saturday, let's hope I don't end up losing my voice.

The Meaning of Maggie: Review Haiku

You'll catch on before
Maggie does, but you'll love her
for her ignorance.

The Meaning of Maggie by Megan Jean Sovern. Chronicle, 2014, 220 pages.

We Are the Goldens: Review Haiku

After-school special
material in the hands
of a prose master.

We Are the Goldens by Dana Reinhardt. Wendy Lamb/Random, 2014, 208 pages.

Noggin: Review Haiku

Moves beyond its
tabloid premise (DEAD FROZEN HEAD!)
to find real meaning.

Noggin by John Corey Whaley. Atheneum, 2014, 352 pages.

Also Known as Elvis: Review Haiku

If you didn't
already love Skeezie Tookis,
you will after this.

Also Known as Elvis by James Howe. Atheneum, 2014, 288 pages.

Thunderstruck: Review Haiku

Love me some McCracken,
but I could NOT get
into this collection.

Thunderstruck and Other Stories by Elizabeth McCracken. Dial, 2014, 240 pages.

Brown Girl Dreaming: Review Haiku

To be young, gifted,
black, and Jackie Woodson.
Yes, it will make you cry.

Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson. Paulsen/Putnam, 2014, 336 pages.

Tell Me: Review Haiku

There is SO MUCH
going on in this book -- yet
it never feels cluttered.

Tell Me by Joan Bauer. Viking, 2014, 272 pages.

P.S. This jacket? What does this jacket have to do with the book? Purposeful bait-and-switch because HEY THIS BOOK IS ABOUT HUMAN TRAFFICKING might not fly off the shelves?

All Fall Down: Review Haiku

Yes, it's a bit cliched
and too easily solved.
But you'll still read it.

All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner. Atria, 2014, 400 pages.

Smek for President: Review Haiku

Some prior knowledge
is helpful, but you'll still root
for Tip and J.Lo.

Smek for President by Adam Rex. Disney, 2014, 272 pages.

Andre the Giant: Review Haiku

Fascinating look
at hard life. Now: anybody
want a peanut?

Andre the Giant: Life and Legend by Box Brown. First Second, 2014, 240 pages.

Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? Review Haiku

Heartbreaking, laugh-so-
you-won't-cry memoir about
aging parents. Sniff.

Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast. Bloomsbury, 2014, 240 pages.

I Kill the Mockingbird: Review Haiku

Literary civil
disobedience with
my favorite novel.

I Kill the Mockingbird by Paul Acampora. Roaring Brook, 2014, 192 pages.

Revolution: Review Haiku

Freedom Summer as
you haven't seen it before.
Pair this with Delphine.

Revolution by Deborah Wiles. Scholastic, 2014, 544 pages.

West of the Moon: Review Haiku

Moody and odd, as
only Scandihoovians
can be. Quite a trip.

West of the Moon by Margi Preus. Amulet, 2014, 224 pages.

Absolutely Almost: Review Haiku

Oh, Albie - let me
rescue you and Calista.
You can live with me.

Absolutely Almost by Lisa Graff. Philomel, 2014, 304 pages.

The Fourteenth Goldfish: Review Haiku

Deeper than it looks
and expertly wrought.
Give that fish a sticker, eh?

The Fourteenth Goldfish by Jennifer L. Holm. Random House, 2014, 208 pages.

The Great Greene Heist: Review Haiku

Is it creepy that
I want Jackson to be my
boyfriend? Probably.

The Great Greene Heist by Varian Johnson. Scholastic/Levine, 2014, 240 pages.

This One Summer: Review Haiku

Transitions and grief
mark a pivotal summer
for two old best friends.

This One Summer by Mariko and Jillian Tamaki. First Second, 2014, 320 pages.

Timmy Failure: Now Look What You've Done: Review Haiku

Better than its
predecessor, but still -- it
coulda been funnier.

Now Look What You've Done (Timmy Failure #2) by Stephen Patsis. Candlewick, 2014, 288 pages.

Sisters: Review Haiku

Honest, heart-breaking,
totally funny. I gave it
to my sister.

Sisters by Raina Telgemeier. GRAPHIX/Scholastic, 2014, 208 pages.

El Deafo: Review Haiku

Stick this on your
Diverse Books About Kicka$$ Girls
shelf. (Don't have? MAKE ONE.)

El Deafo by Cece Bell. Amulet/Abrams, 2014, 248 pages.