Peeled: Review Haiku

Bauer's primer on
journalism starts clunkily,
but gets better.

Peeled by Joan Bauer. Putnam, 2008, 248 pages.

Forever Rose: Review Haiku

The true measure of
family is its handling
of life's messiness.

Forever Rose by Hilary McKay. McElderry/S&S, 2008, 291 pages.

P.S. Finally got my haiku shirt. I heart it (though the text lies oddly in my armpits).

Bonk: Review Haiku

Roach takes prurient
interest in the science of
sex. Twelve-year-olds cheer.

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach. Norton, 2008, 319 pages.

Favorite Authors Meme

I've been tagged by The Bookworm for the Favorite Authors Meme.

Here are the rules:
Link to the person that tagged you, post the rules somewhere in your blog, answer the questions, and tag four people in your post. Don't forget to let the tagees know they were tagged, so leave a comment on their blog! And remember to let your tagger know that your entry is posted.

1. Who's your favorite all-time author, and why?
I suppose I should be a good English major and say Shakespeare. He sort of defines "all-time," no?
2. Who was your first favorite author, and why?
A tie between Judy Blume and Ellen Raskin, since they wrote my two favorite childhood books, Superfudge and The Westing Game, respectively.
3. Who's the most recent edition to your list of favorite authors, and why?
Emily Jenkins. She is my best example of kick-ass picture book voice in my writers'-conference workshops.
4. If someone asked you who your favorite authors were right now, what would pop out of your mouth?
E. L. Konigsburg. Mo Willems. Harper Lee. Lois Lowry. Joan Bauer. David Sedaris. Mimi Smartypants. Susan Beth Pfeffer. Andrew Sullivan. Janet Evanovich. And countless others I can't think of right now, I'm sure.

I tag:
Librarian Mom
Mindy at propernoun.net
Adrienne
Liz B at ACAFATC

Pride and Prejudice: Review Haiku

Two blowhards meet cute
in Austen's classic rom-com.
Paging Colin Firth . . .

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Vintage, originally published 1813, 368 pages. #34 on The LIST. Listened to on a Playaway.

48-Hour Lack of Challenge

So it is becoming painfully clear that I will not be able to participate in this weekend's 48-Hour Book Challenge. I was all set to do it, and then suddenly I realized I have two birthday parties, a three-hour alumni sing, a Youth Sunday rehearsal, and . . . oh, right, two children under 5 and a husband who said (politely) HELL TO THE NO when I mentioned it to him.

But! I am going to try instead to use the month of June as a Read A Whole Heckuva Lot Month. So far it is . . . uh, not going so well (Pride and Prejudice, why are you so long?), but I'll get there, I'm sure. I have the new Joan Bauer and the new Hilary McKay and Bonk and a handful of books from The LIST, and I'm determined to get through them all. Plus I have The Odyssey waiting on Playaway whenever Elizabeth Bennett stops TALKING DEAR GOD THE ENDLESS TALKING and marries Darcy, for frak's sake.

See you soon and often.

Then We Came to the End: Review Haiku

Moments of brilliance,
but who needs four hundred pages
of real, drab life?

Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris. Little Brown, 2007, 400 pages.

Trouble: Review Haiku

A worthy story,
sure, but the messages are
subtle as mountains.

Trouble by Gary D. Schmidt. Clarion, 2008, 297 pages.

J. Edgar Hoover: Review Haiku

An accessible
intro to a sad, weird man.
Ten kinds of awesome.

J. Edgar Hoover: A Graphic Biography by Rick Geary and Andrew Helfer. Hill & Wang, 2008, 102 pages.

How to Steal a Dog: Review Haiku

The best-laid plans of
hard-luck girls sometimes fail for
all the right reasons.

How to Steal a Dog by Barbara O'Connor. FSG, 2007, 176 pages.

Certain Girls: Review Haiku

Helicopter mom
must learn to step the [bleep] off.
Great summer reading.

Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner. Atria, 2008, 400 pages.

Clementine's Letter: Review Haiku

Darling Clementine
learns the power of the pen.
I can't get enough.

Clementine's Letter by Sara Pennypacker. Hyperion, 2008, 150 pages.

Birthday Meme of Five

So, uh, last week kinda sucked. On Sunday I had my recital (which was awesome; no suckage); Monday I took the Boy in for tubes surgery (went well; he is chipper and infection-free but still speaks no English); Wednesday we found out Chloe was dying (sucked); Friday we put her down (SUCKED).

And now today's my birthday! Yeah . . . I won't tell you how old I am, but if I make it through this year I will be Older Than Jesus.

Regular posting will resume soon, but for now, Els of Librarian Mom has tagged me with the Meme of Five. Here it is:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read the player's blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?
Working at my current job (same place, lesser title) and convinced that I would never get pregnant. Probably painting some room of the house. Seldom covered in miscellaneous food droppings/smearings.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order)?
1. FIND BABYSITTER FOR TOMORROW NIGHT'S SOX GAME gaaaah.
2. Finish two freelance jobs.
3. Create database for high school reunion registrations.
4. Write agenda for college choir foundation annual meeting (my last one as president!)
5. Write haikus for two upcoming posts.

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1. The discontinued, then happily revived, then sadly discontinued White Cheddar Pringles.
2. Girl Scouts Caramel DeLites.
3. My own chocolate chip cookies.
4. Stacy's Parmesan Garlic and Herb pita chips.
5. Caffeine-free Pepsi.

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Give tons of money to my church, Habitat for Humanity, my choir foundation, the Harvard Crimson, the college fund, public radio and television, microfinance groups like Kiva, and so forth.
2. Redo my kitchen and upstairs bathroom. Vile mold, be gone!
3. Buy my husband a BMW.
4. Go shopping and buy things that aren't even on sale.
5. Hire a housekeeper, because I am a dirty, dirty person. (Although I suppose if I am a billionaire the housekeeper goes without saying.)

What are five of your bad habits?
1. Procrastination (known as "noodling" when it involves the computer).
2. Laziness.
3. Parking too close to my husband's truck in our driveway.
4. Stubbornness.
5. Impatience.

What are five places where you have lived?
1. Rock Island, IL
2. Cambridge, MA
3. Syracuse, NY
4. Jersey City, NJ
5. Bedford, MA

What are five jobs you've had?
1. Box office rep ("boxie")
2. Substitute teacher
3. Newspaper intern, features
4. Literary agency assistant
5. Editor

I now tag five people who have commented here in the past, or whose blogs I've commented on in the past.
Sarah Miller at Reading, Writing, Musing . . .
Miss Erin
Camille at BookMoot (she may still be on hiatus)
Anastasia at Picture Book of the Day
Fiona at Books 'n' Rocks

Too sad to read.

Chloe Wood Schuttler Mitchell. May 1, 1995 -- May 16, 2008. Guileless, fearless, possibly brainless; the sweetest sweetie beagle I've ever known.

The house is way too quiet. And the floor is full of dropped food bits. And I won't be reading #53 on The LIST any time soon.

I've been tagged for the Meme of Five, which I'll do sometime next week. But not today.

Shameless self-promotion!

If you are in the Boston area and are desperately looking for something nice to do for and/or with your mom this Sunday, why not come hear me sing?

I'll be performing "Girlhood, Womanhood, Wifehood, Motherhood: A Recital for Mother's Day" on Sunday, May 11, at 2:00pm at St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Bedford, MA. The recital features favorite showtunes from past and present, all revolving around common experiences of women everywhere. It's about an hour long and should be a lot of fun. (Provided I don't forget the lyrics.) A freewill offering will be taken, with all proceeds benefiting Relay for Life, a program of the American Cancer Society.

If that is not incentive enough, please note that I will be wearing a turquoise, 1950s-era prom dress.

Hope to see you there!

And the Chinese comment spam is back

Oh, well. I'll just ignore it unless it becomes a real problem.

My Most Excellent Year: Review Haiku

It's so giddily
unbelievable, you can't
help but fall in love.

My Most Excellent Year: A Novel of Love, Mary Poppins, and Fenway Park by Steve Kluger. Dial, 2008, 403 pages.

P.S. "Ramon Garciaparra" (p253)? Ahem.

The Miracle at Speedy Motors: Review Haiku

Should I review this
one, or just sit back and have
a cup of bush tea?

The Miracle at Speedy Motors by Alexander McCall Smith. Pantheon, 2008, 224 pages.

Waiting for Normal: Review Haiku

Another deadbeat
mother story, but Addie's
worth your sympathy.

Waiting for Normal by Leslie Connor. Harper, 2008, 290 pages.

Queen of Babble Gets Hitched and Big Boned: Review Haiku

Two women, one voice:
One solves crimes, one makes dresses.
Oh, Meg, I heart you.

Queen of Babble Gets Hitched by Meg Cabot. Avon, 2008, 288 pages (read as ARC).
Big Boned by Meg Cabot. Avon, 2007, 280 pages.

The elements of story, as understood by the Munchkin

Scene: We're in the car, on the way to the mall for dinner. (Daddy's in Germany. What do you want from me?) We pull into the drive-through bank to get some money. The Munchkin spies the stack of deposit envelopes.

Munchkin: Mommy! I need one of those!
Me: Uh, okay. [give her envelope]
Munchkin: I need a pen! I need a pen to write a story!
Me: Not in the car. It's hard to write when the car is moving. Wait till we get to the mall.
Munchkin: I NEED A PEN!
[repeat last two lines ad infinitum as we drive]

Scene: Arrival at Sears. We get ten feet into the store.
Munchkin: I need a pen to write a story!
Me: Fine.
[Give Munchkin pen. She sits down at patio furniture display and begins to write.]
Munchkin: "How do you spell 'fish'?"
[Go through spelling rigamarole: "Well, what letter says /fffff/?" Munchkin scribbles, then finishes with flourish and hands me envelope.]
Munchkin: "Now you write 'for school.' At the bottom!"
[I do. Munchkin folds envelope in half, in vague approximation of book fold.]

Munchkin: "See? There's my book! READ IT!"

Here, in its entirety, is the Munchkin's book.

We needed a fish for school.

I've got to hand it to her -- it's got all the classic elements of story.
Characters: "We"
Plot: "needed a fish"
Setting: "for school"
Tension: Why do they need a fish? Is it an assignment? A class pet? A secret password?

I'm telling you, she's got Newbery written all over her.

The Life and Crimes of Bernetta Wallflower: Review Haiku

Crime and punishment
for an innocent mark turned
collaborator.

The Life and Crimes of Bernetta Wallflower by Lisa Graff. Harper/Geringer, 2008, 250 pages.

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks: Review Haiku

Lockhart rocks again:
Eat your heart out, Skull and Bones --
Frankie's got you beat.

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart.

Show me the way to go home

I'm waiting in the Dallas airport for my flight home. TLA was fun; I liked Dallas, everyone I met was nice, and I scored a bunch of great galleys, which I'll surely review in the weeks to come. (I even met a fan of this blog!)

Thanks to all the librarians, authors, illustrators, publishers, and others I met this week. Yee-ha.

Bird Lake Moon: Review Haiku

So many ways to
lose someone; an honest look
at grief, and summer.

Bird Lake Moon by Kevin Henkes. Greenwillow, 2008, 192 pages. To be published in May.

TLA note: Last night a bunch of publishers hosted a cocktail party. Kevin Henkes was one of the guests, and at one point he was just a few feet away from me, in a knot of people. I was pretty sure I recognized him, but I wasn't positive it was he, and his arm was holding a drink in such a way that I couldn't see his nametag. Not two seconds later, a fearless librarian walked over, bent her torso ninety degrees, stood up, and reported back to her cluster of friends, "Yep. It's him." Hee.

Dallas: First impressions

Good God, everyone is so . . . nice. It's like I'm back home in the Midwest. And the streets are so wide, and there's so much sky, and did I mention everyone is nice?

Day 1 of my TLA was busy and long, but good. Anastasia and Mitali signed for us, and I met many lovely librarians. The highlight, however, was definitely the Book Cart Drill Team finals. Most impressive.

Thank you, Dallas, for a lovely 24 hours.

Princess Ben: Review Haiku

Empowering or
sexist? Fresh or typical?
I can't quite decide.

Princess Ben by Catherine Gilbert Murdock. HMCo, 2008, 344 pages.

Ellie McDoodle: Review Haiku

Have pen, will travel:
Very basic plotline, but
charming nonetheless.

Ellie McDoodle: Have Pen, Will Travel by Ruth McNally Barshaw. Bloomsbury, 2007, 170 pages.

I am a dash

. . . which is extra funny if you know that I call my freelance editorial business "EMdash." Get it? Ha! (Okay, "ha.") And that part about money just made me pee my pants a little bit.

You Are a Dash

Your life is fast paced and varied. You are realistic, down to earth, and very honest. You're often busy doing something interesting, and what you do changes quickly. You have many facets to your personality, and you connect them together well. You have a ton of interests. While some of them are a bit offbeat, they all tie together well. You friends rely on you to bring novelty and excitement to their lives. (And while you're the most interesting person they know, they can't help feeling like they don't know you well.) You excel in: Anything to do with money You get along best with: the Exclamation Point

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Happy Blogiversary to Me: Birthday Haiku

Two years old today!
Hand over cake before I
start throwing tantrums.

Good Lord, I made it through another year. Thank you for your eyeballs and your comments. It has been fun to expand my circle of professional friends without leaving the comfort of my chair, and doubly fun to put faces to names, when I've met some of you at various conferences this past year.

Last year I set a goal to read or re-read 53 classics (or classics-to-be) in adult and children's literature, fiction and nonfiction. That goal, it seems, was laughably unreachable: I got through over half of them, but am nowhere close to the end of The LIST. Yet, undaunted, I press on: I'll just keep reading 'em till I'm done.

I am off tomorrow to Dallas for the Texas Library Association conference, a whirlwind four days that may involve very large hats and/or the adoption of "ma'am" as a speech tic. If you're there, stop by booth #1534 and say hi. I'll be the one in the Unshelved t-shirt.

FOUR: Birthday Haiku

My little princess:
She'll outpester any pest,
but she's still damn cute.

The Penderwicks on Gardam Street: Review Haiku

Emergency MOPS:
Please, oh please, can I be a
Penderwick sister?

The Penderwicks on Gardam Street by Jeanne Birdsall. Knopf, 2008, 320 pages.

Father Knows Less: Review Haiku

Bill Cosby once asked,
"Why is there air?" This guy tries
to find real answers.

Father Knows Less, Or "Can I Cook My Sister?": One Dad's Quest to Answer His Son's Most Baffling Questions by Wendell Jamieson. Putnam, 2007, 258 pages.

A Confederacy of Dunces: Review Haiku

Pulitzer classic,
but all I kept thinking was,
"Christ, what an asshole."

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. LSU Press, 1980, 416 pages.

#33 on The LIST.

Dude, it's like you're in my house

This, my friends, is why I don't stay at home full-time. Amen, sister.

The Lightning Thief: Review Haiku

Screw-up kid really
demigod: what preteen boy
could resist this book?

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. Miramax, 2005, 377 pages.

The London Eye Mystery: Review Haiku

London siblings solve
a curious incident
by looking closer.

The London Eye Mystery by Siobhan Dowd. Random House, 2008, 322 pages.

Keeping Score: Review Haiku

Trying to make sense
of the senselessness of war
through sabermetrics.

Keeping Score by Linda Sue Park. Clarion, 2008, 202 pages.

The Learners: Review Haiku

Brilliantly damaged:
graphic design with a
psychological edge.

The Learners by Chip Kidd. Scribner, 2008, 258 pages.

Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat: Review Haiku

Charmingly absurd

and old-fashioned; owes a great
debt to Roald Dahl, no?

Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat by Lynne Jonell. Holt, 2007, 346 pages.

This is deeply true and slightly depressing

Your Score: Rabbit

You scored 19 Ego, 18 Anxiety, and 16 Agency!

IT was going to be one of Rabbit's busy days. As soon as he woke up he felt important, as if everything depended upon him. It was just the day for Organizing Something, or for Writing a Notice Signed Rabbit, or for Seeing What Everybody Else Thought About It. It was a perfect morning for hurrying round to Pooh, and saying, "Very well, then, I'll tell Piglet," and then going to Piglet, and saying, "Pooh thinks--but perhaps I'd better see Owl first." It was a Captainish sort of day, when everybody said, "Yes, Rabbit " and "No, Rabbit," and waited until he had told them.

You scored as Rabbit!

ABOUT RABBIT: Rabbit is generally considered Clever by his many friends and relations. He is actually a much better reader and writer than Owl, but he doesn't consider it worth mentioning. Instead, Rabbit's real talent lies in Organizing Plans. He organizes rescue parties, makes schemes to reduce Tigger's bounciness, and goes on missions to find out what Christopher Robin does when he's not at the Hundred Acre Woods. Sometimes, however, his Plans do not always go as Planned.

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are smart, practical and you plan ahead. People sometimes think that you don't stress or worry, but this is not the case. You are the kind of person who worries in a practical way. You think a) What are my anxieties about and b)what can be done about them? No useless fretting for you. You don't see the point in sitting around and waiting for things to work out, when you could actually work them out today and save yourself a lot of time and worry. Your friends tend to rely on you, because they know that they can trust you help them work things out.

You sometimes tend to be impatient with people who are less practical in their ways. You don't have much patience for idiots who moan about things but never actually DO anything about them. You have high expectations of everyone, including yourself. When you don't succeed at something, or when something goes wrong despite your best efforts to prevent it, you can get quite hard on yourself. You need to cut yourself some slack and accept that everyone has their faults, even you, and THAT IS OKAY. Let yourself be faulty, every now and then, for the sake of your own sanity.

Link: The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test written by wolfcaroling on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(wolfcaroling)

Thanks to bookshelves of doom for the link.

The Willoughbys: Review Haiku

As if I needed
more reasons to heart Lois
Lowry. Wicked, droll.

The Willoughbys by Lois Lowry. HMCo, 2008, 176 pages.

Here If You Need Me: Review Haiku

The Plucky Widow
will make you laugh, cry, praise God,

without sentiment.

Here If You Need Me: A True Story by Kate Braestrup. Little Brown, 2007, 207 pages.

This year's One Book, One Bedford selection.

What I Was: Review Haiku

Bleak and strange with a
weak frame story; still, she's a
hell of a writer.

What I Was by Meg Rosoff. Viking, 2008, 209 pages.

The Opposite of Invisible: Review Haiku

Art, love, and high school:
never were three standard tropes
more deftly explored.

The Opposite of Invisible by Liz Gallagher. Wendy Lamb/Random, 2008, 153 pages.

Oh. Ma. God.

David Sedaris delivers a pizza.



Thanks to Roger for the link.

I'm getting comment spam!

In Chinese!

Back from Whispering Pines, a lovely conference made even lovelier by the fact that my children, including Captain Ear Infection, were not there. Then jury duty this morning, then back in the office this afternoon to not catch up on work.

I did get some reading done this weekend, so I'll try to post a new review or two in the next few days.

P.S. I have turned on "comment moderation" for now, so it will take a little while for your comments to appear. I may decide I hate this and will risk additional spam later.

Pippi Longstocking: Review Haiku

Iconic Swedish
hooligan meets her match in
kooky Lauren Child.

Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren, illustrated by Lauren Child. Viking, 2007, 207 pages.

I Am the Wallpaper: Review Haiku

True-to-life look at
friendship, first love, Interwebs --
sure he's not a girl?

I Am the Wallpaper by Mark Peter Hughes. Delacorte, 2005, 228 pages.

Sweethearts: Review Haiku

You can't escape your
past -- especially when it
comes back to love you.

Sweethearts by Sara Zarr. Little Brown, 2008, 217 pages.

Where have you been, young lady

Currently in the middle of Pippi Longstocking and Sweethearts and enjoying both.

BUT -- my reading time is severely limited, as I'm getting ready to attend a writers' conference here next weekend. I'll be critiquing manuscripts and talking about narrative voice, and apparently I may be thrown into a horrifying First Pages situation on Friday night. So instead of reading this week, I have been writing and rewriting and revising and throwing out whole pages of stuff I previously thought was good. (How do you writer people do this all the time?) Plus I wrote sixteen rejection letters yesterday; typically I can't do more than a dozen before turning into Super Cranky Unhelpful Editor, so apologies to those authors who'll be getting letters from me in the next few days. I didn't mean it.*

Anyway. I'll resurface at some point -- with any luck, rejuvenated from a whole weekend sans bebes. (Sorry, honey.)

*Well, I did mean it. But I meant it more nicely than I said it.

Emma-Jean Lazarus Fell Out of a Tree: Review Haiku

Impeccable logic
won't hold in middle school
social politics.

Emma-Jean Lazarus Fell Out of a Tree by Lauren Tarshis. Dial, 2007, 199 pages.

Princess Mia: Review Haiku

Mia. Open your
goddamn EYES. Grow up. Move on.
Oh, wait -- you did. Good!

Princess Mia by Meg Cabot. Harper, 2008, 274 pages.

P.S. Munchkin: That says "princess!"
Me: Yes. Yes, it does. But you can't read it.

Book of a Thousand Days: Review Haiku

Good old Shannon Hale:
count on her for love, magic,
wisdom, and yak dung.

Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale. Bloomsbury, 2007, 306 pages.

If a Tree Falls at Lunch Period

Typical middle
school drama, until it takes
a strange, whiplash turn.

If a Tree Falls at Lunch Period by Gennifer Choldenko. Harcourt, 2007, 216 pages.

The Ghost, the White House, and Me: Review Haiku

History lessons
wrapped in a predictable,
fairly boring plot.

The Ghost, The White House, and Me by Judith St. George. Holiday House, 2007, 153 pages.

The Puzzling World of Winston Breen: Review Haiku

A love letter to
puzzle geeks. Somewhere, Ellen
Raskin is smiling.

The Puzzling World of Winston Breen by Eric Berlin. Putnam, 2007, 215 pages.

Cybils winners!

Posted here for your enjoyment.

(I know, I know, the day's almost over. I've been working, okay?)

Anna Friggin' Karenina: Review Haiku

Boy meets girl; boy gets
girl; girl meets train. Three weeks of
my life lost, all lost.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. Originally serialized in Russian between 1875 and 1877, 754 pages.

#32 on The LIST.

Vacation roundup: by the numbers

Books read: 4 2/3*
Pages read: 1628*
Countries visited: 2
Cities visited: 3
Train trips taken: 3
Public transportation trips stolen: 10? 15?**
Cups of kaffee mit schlag consumed: eighty bazillion
Plates of wiener schnitzel consumed: um, four? It's really good.

* Includes Anna Karenina, or as I prefer to call it, Anna Friggin' Karenina, which I'm still reading. Yet another example of why I did not study 19th-century literature in college: its and my temperaments are diametrically opposed.
** Seriously. We bought subway/tram tickets the first couple times, but there is no requirement (nor means) to insert/punch/validate/show a ticket for public transportation in either Austria or Germany. There are some benefits to quasi-socialism . . .

Well, that sucked

Gaah. So the whole season was an expletive waste. What a game.

All is not lost, though: pitchers and catchers report in eleven days.