Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth: Review Haiku

Further confessions
of a budding sociopath.

Plus, puberty!

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth by Jeff Kinney. Abrams, 2010, 224 pages.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Please enjoy some delicious turkey.

Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown: Review Haiku

Never underestimate
the power of jealousy
and ninja s'mores.

Lunch Lady and the Summer Camp Shakedown by Jarrett J. Krosoczka. Knopf, 2010, 96 pages.

Allie Finkle: Glitter Girls and the Great Fake-Out: Review Haiku

Is there any fourth-
grader as self-assured as
Allie? Mean girls suck.

Allie Finkle's Rules for Girls #5: Glitter Girls and the Great Fake-Out by Meg Cabot. Scholastic, 2010, 192 pages.

Alvin Ho: Allergic to Birthday Parties, Science Projects, and Other Man-Made Catastrophes: Review Haiku

Zombie Louisa
May Alcott was my favorite
part. Love Alvin Ho!

Alvin Ho: Allergic to Birthday Parties, Science Projects, and Other Man-Made Catastrophes by Lenore Look, illustrated by LeUyen Pham. Schwartz & Wade, 2010, 192 pages.

Troublemaker: Review Haiku

Wow, Leila was right:
this is a truly awful
book. (And that Barbie bod . . . !)

Troublemaker, Book 1: A Barnaby and Hooker Graphic Novel by Janet Evanovich and Alex Evanovich. Dark Horse Comics, 2010, 112 pages.

P.S. Huh. I coulda sworn Leila reviewed this. But now I can't find it. Regardless, I'm pretty sure she would hate it.

Babymouse: Cupcake Tycoon: Review Haiku

But did you do a
discounted cash flow analysis,
Babymouse?

Babymouse: Cupcake Tycoon by Jennifer L. Holm and Matt Holm. Random, 2010, 96 pages.

Bink and Gollie: Review Haiku

What I really want
to know is, how can I get
a treehouse like that?

Bink and Gollie by Alison McGhee and Kate DiCamillo, illustrated by Tony Fucile. Candlewick, 2010, 96 pages.

Mary Mae and the Gospel Truth: Review Haiku

Would've been more
effective if the creationists
weren't hillbillies.

Mary Mae and the Gospel Truth by Sandra Dutton. HMH, 2010, 134 pages.

Finally: Review Haiku

Random acts of kindness
don't really add up to
anything, alas.

Finally by Wendy Mass. Scholastic, 2010, 296 pages.

The Upside of Irrationality: Review Haiku

Pop psychology
explains why we do dumb things
that we know are dumb.

The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home by Dan Ariely. Harper, 2010, 352 pages.

Halloween cop-out

I am woefully behind in reading, so I offer instead this picture of my Hermione and my robot.

Enjoy.

What Happened on Fox Street: Review Haiku

Does it make me a
bad person if I liked this
but didn't love it?

What Happened on Fox Street by Tricia Springstrubb. Balzer + Bray, 2010, 224 pages.

Mockingbird: Review Haiku

How do you make sense
of the senseless? Asperger's
story of grief, hope.

Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine. Philomel, 2010, 235 pages.

P.S. Yes. The Eagle Scout thing. But for some reason I spent the first fifty pages thinking it was a dummy chest (like "Annie, Annie, are you okay?" dummy), which seemed like a reasonable project.

How I Made It to Eighteen: Review Haiku

Harrowing, hopeful
take on breakdown, starkly rendered
in black-and-white.

How I Made It to Eighteen: A Mostly True Story by Tracy White. Roaring Brook, 2010, 151 pages.

Zilch: Review Haiku

Nuggets of wisdom
snuck in among the auto-
hagiography.

Zilch: The Power of Zero in Business by Nancy Lublin. Portfolio, 2010, 246 pages.

Big Nate: Review Haiku

Poor man's Wimpy Kid
takes delight in his under-
achievement. Still fun.

Big Nate: In a Class By Himself by Lincoln Peirce. Harper, 2010, 224 pages.

The Vanishing Violin: Review Haiku

A few wrong notes, but
overall, a great puzzle fest

for smart tween girls.

The Vanishing Violin (Red Blazer Girls #2) by Michael D. Bell. Knopf, 2010, 336 pages.

Zebrafish: Review Haiku

Gorgeous rich colors
tell of music, friendship, illness.
Great kid power.

Zebrafish by Peter H. Reynolds. Fablevision/Atheneum, 2010, 119 pages.

As Simple As It Seems: Review Haiku

Unique topic makes
run-of-the-mill coming-of-age
worth checking out.





As Simple As It Seems by Sarah Weeks. Harper, 2010, 192 pages.

P.S. What does this jacket have to do with anything? She skips rocks like, once. The nightgown is good, but otherwise . . . ?

Fly Away Home: Review Haiku

First adultery
novel where I didn't want

to punch everyone.

Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner. Atria, 2010, 416 pages.

Brains for Lunch: Review Haiku

Sadly, not nearly
as awesome as the title/
concept would imply.

Brains for Lunch: A Zombie Novel in Haiku by K. A. Holt. Roaring Brook, 2010, 96 pages.

Bone: Crown of Horns: Review Haiku

OMG I FINISHED
BONE. Now I am sad that

there aren't any more.

Bone #9: Crown of Horns by Jeff Smith. Graphix, 2009, 224 pages.

Just Let Me Lie Down: Review Haiku

Much of this is old hat,
but it will make you feel
like you're not alone.

Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom by Kristin van Ogtorp. Little Brown, 2010, 259 pages.

Sophie Simon Solves Them All: Review Haiku

Resident genius
unwillingly helps others,
makes friends. Plus, lemurs.

Sophie Simon Solves Them All by Lisa Graff. FSG, 2010, 112 pages.

Cybils Cybils Cybils

Yes, it's true -- once again I will be a Cybils judge, for round II of the SFF/elementary and middle-grade panel. I am looking forward to dipping into the faery waters again.

(Actually, I'm just trying to build up my geek cred.)

Mergers & Acquisitions from A to Z: Review Haiku

What? It's the only
book I've been able to read
for the past three weeks.

Mergers & Acquisitions from A to Z by Andrew J. Sherman. AMACOM, 2006, 288 pages.

(Or as I like to call it, Mergers & Acquisitions from A to Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . )

Prime Baby: Review Haiku

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Twisted alien sibling
genius. Sing-along!

Prime Baby by Gene Luen Yang. First Second, 2010, 56 pages.

Scumble: Review Haiku

Sometimes clumsy, always
heartfelt allegory
of adolescence.

Scumble by Ingrid Law. Dial, 2010, 416 pages.

Happyface: Review Haiku

Next time someone says
graphic novels aren't real novels,
give 'em this one.

Happyface by Stephen Emond. Little Brown, 2010, 307 pages.

What Women Want: Review Haiku

Could've been good if
the author weren't such a
chauvinistic douchebag.

What Women Want: The Global Market Turns Female Friendly by Paco Underhill. S&S, 2010, 214 pages.

Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs: Review Haiku

Kathleen Norris plus
Anne Lamott plus the chick from
Northern Exposure.

Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs: Family, Friendships, and Faith in Small-Town Alaska by Heather Lende. Algonquin, 2010, 287 pages.

Ling & Ting: Review Haiku

Is it wrong that I
kinda want to marry this
book? Adorable.

Ling & Ting: Not Exactly the Same! by Grace Lin. Little Brown, 2010, 43 pages.

Keeper: Review Haiku

Heart-tugging love stories:
read 'em and weep.
(Bonus points for the gay guys.)

Keeper by Kathi Appelt. Atheneum, 2010, 399 pages.

The Bedwetter: Review Haiku

Pretty much what you'd
expect: a few laughs, all of
it NSFW.

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman. Harper, 2010, 240 pages.

The Dreamer: Review Haiku

Beautiful package,
but too in love with itself
for its audience?

The Dreamer by Pam Munoz Ryan. Scholastic, 2010, 372 pages.

Switch: Review Haiku

Fairly dorky jargon
(Elephants! Riders!), but
insight is top-notch.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath. Broadway Business, 2010, 305 pages.

Mockingjay: Review Haiku

War! Lust! Politics!
Sacrifice! And yet a weird
Bella Swan vibe, no?

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. Scholastic, 2010, 390 pages.

[It's safe to talk about this, right? You've all read it by now?]

You Are Not a Gadget: Review Haiku

The worst of both worlds:

academic jargon AND
technobabble! Wheeeee . . .

You Are Not a Gadget by Jaron Lanier. Knopf, 2010, 209 pages.

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ: Review Haiku

Revisionist gospel
introduces Father,
Son, and Evil Twin.

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman. Canongate, 2010, 245 pages.

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend: Review Haiku

Road trip, drama geeks,
first love, Teh Gays, ninjas --
this debut hits 'em all.

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend by Emily Horner. Dial, 2010, 259 pages.

P.S. "Ninjas can divide by zero" is quite possibly the funniest line I've read all year.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Review Haiku

Why yes, I AM the
last person in the world to
read this. Brutal, fierce.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. Knopf, 2008, 480 pages.

Zombies vs. Unicorns: Review Haiku

The zombie ones rock,
but unicorns have sex and
fart rainbows. TEAM U.

Zombies vs. Unicorns edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier. McElderry, 2010, 432 pages.

Packing for Mars: Review Haiku

Mary Roach answers
your burning questions about
food, sex, poop in space.

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach. Norton, 2010, 336 pages.

Sh*t My Dad Says: Review Haiku

Can't believe this will

be a TV show, but as

a book it's not bad.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. It Books, 2010, 176 pages. Read on a Kindle borrowed from the Bedford Free Public Library.

Clementine, Friend of the Week: Review Haiku

Not Clementine wacky;
Clementine sad. She is still
the awesome-est.

Clementine, Friend of the Week by Sara Pennypacker. Hyperion, 2010,

YOU: Review Haiku

If this doesn't make
you despair for the human
race, you read it wrong.

You by Charles Benoit. Harper, 2010, 208 pages.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? Review Haiku

Exaggerated
memoir so funny it'll
make you smile out loud.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by Samantha Bee. Gallery Press, 2010, 256 pages.

The Kneebone Boy: Review Haiku

Yes, it really is
that good. Voice, character, and plot --
it's got them all.

The Kneebone Boy by Ellen Potter. Feiwel & Friends, 2010, 288 pages.

Sizzling Sixteen: Review Haiku

You don't really care
what happens, right? Just if we
see Ranger naked.*

Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich. St. Martin's Press, 2010, 320 pages.**

*No.

**There by the grace of superwide margins and giant leading, again. It's really only 96 pages of content.

Vordak the Incomprehensible: Review Haiku

If I say this was
fun but grew tiresome, will
Vordak come and kill me?

Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World by Vordak the Incomprehensible (Scott Seegert). Egmont USA, 2010, 208 pages.

P.S. The Egmont USA booth was right next to ours at ALA. Vordak appeared and signed books, and I snapped a picture with him on my phone -- which I promptly erased like a moron, trying to upload it to Tweetdeck. I was too terrified to ask for a retake.

I'm back! Sort of.

As you read this I am either a) on a plane from Rio to Miami; b) waiting all damn day in the Miami airport for my flight back to Boston; or c) on a plane from Miami to Boston, finally coming home from a weeklong class/caipirinha-drinking boondoggle in Brazil.

[Or else, d) I have been mugged and murdered in Sao Paulo, and these last, pre-written blog entries are my spooooooky missives from the graaaaaaaaaave. But probably b).]

I have been doing a goodly amount of vacation reading, the fruits of which you will begin seeing over the next few weeks. Enjoy.